DAY TWO: Nashville, TN

Thursday, August 24th, 2006

“After 6 years with the YMCA the one thing that never changes is the kids. Kids after all will be kids. It’s the parents that change year after year.” John, Program Director YMCA and father of 6 month old.

Lani (37), Christopher (10), and little Zach (5 months).
Lani had Christopher when she was young, starting her career and heading out into the world. Needless to say, Christopher was raised by the babysitter. Zach came along 10 years later as a surprise. Different Dads. Never married Mom.

Lani at one point in time was quite successful in the music industry representing the Dixie Chicks, the Judds and a few other well known artists. Her junk filled house, with every crook and cranny packed, had gold albums signed by the artists hanging on her living room wall beneath the water stained ceiling.

She greeted us out front when she saw our car pull up, warning us to stay away from the garden due to the poison ivy. Despite being a stay at home Mom, recently laid off, she has not had time to ‘deal’ with it.

We hung out for a few hours chatting about life, food, her passions. After she breast fed Zach we hopped in the car for the two hour journey to pick up Christopher at school. Most of the time is spent waiting in line for the kids to be ‘released’ in batches as the cars pull up.

Lani lives in a world full of paradoxes. She had money, now she doesn’t. She wants to be healthy but feels without money she can’t. She herself as independent but still cuts up her 10 year old’s meat. She allows a ‘junk drawer’ full to the brim of candy but considers artificial sweetner to be “rat poison.”

Lani told us that she spoils her children, knowing full well she cannot always afford to buy them everything they desire. Yes, she will buy the Nickelodeon Atomic Green paint simply because it matches the $20 Sponge Bob Square Pant Collection she bought off the internet when it was all he really, really wanted. And when he needed a $900 trumpet for school she found a way of getting help from her Mom.

Standing in her kitchen, shoes stuck to the sticky floor, she tells us: "Kids need to enjoy life while they can. They need to be happy. And while you don’t want to give in to every little whim, you do want to make sure they get some of the things in life that give them pure pleasure."

Implication: Mom’s are rarely rationale when it comes to making their kids happy.